non-Competition

~ journal excerpt

I want art and serenity in my life. I'm not interested in competitive jockeying.

If, after I've created what I want to create and taken it out into the world, if then it fits with the parameters of some competition, I will try. I'm not going to mold myself unrecognizably into something to fit an objective.

I think a lot about getting older and trying to find lasting meaning in life. There is a wealth of material for art and song there.

(c)2007 Kay Pere ~ Effusive Muse Publishing

Contest Win

Last month I entered a contest and won. This was a first for me, both the entering and the winning. In the process, I learned a lot about my own competitive nature. (More on that in another post.)

Nancy Mills, the founder of "The Spirited Woman" wrote a set of words and challenged others to set them to music. The theme of her organization is "Living in the Land of Enoughness". Through her workshops, newsletter and website, she encourages women to feel empowered by knowing that we are enough, just as we are.

You can listen to my rendition of "The Spirited Woman Song" HERE.

Nancy interviewed me over the phone following the announcement of the winners. You can read the interview HERE.

One of the fun things about this contest was that Nancy encouraged participants not to worry about their results, to just come up something fun and enter. Some "songs" were even called in to an 800 number she set up especially for the contest. Others, like mine, were sent by email as MP3s.

While some contestants made up their songs on the spot, for me, taking a song from concept to finished recording in 8-10 hours of work, and finishing by a deadline, was a major breakthough.

The 4 finalists were selected by a panel of judges. The order of winners was determined by popular vote.

A big happy "Thank you!" to everyone who emailed or called during the short 24-hour voting window.

My prize money will be going toward recording my next CD, hopefully coming out in Spring of 2008.

:-), Kay

Meditation

~ excerpts from today's journal writing

Deep breaths
Calm body
Still mind

Over the years, I've asked for advice and permission far more often than I really should. I need to give myself back the authority I've handed over to others.

My creative work is both hopeful and haunted. I have both strength and weakness and can hold these two, one in each hand, as I work. Passion and detachment. Independence and interconnection. The synthesis of opposites necessary for growth.

Life is filled with unresolvable contradictions. This is fertile ground for creative work.

©2007 Kay Pere ~ Effusive Muse Publishing

Connect the DOTs

My theme for the next few months is "Connect the Dots". I tend to work on things in isolated islands of intense activity. One day one thing, the next another. I have so many areas of focus that it all becomes rather disjointed. Like dots on a page with only hints of a picture around the edges, and no numbers to tell how to connect them.

I've named the clusters of dots, like constellations, to help me make more sense of them:

• Heart and Spiral - my songwriting, performing and recording activities
• Sacred Shards - pottery work and sales
• Effusive Muse Publishing - my writing project and workshop development
• Sound Krayons Music - the teaching studio, vocal and songwriting workshops
• Keys for a Cause - social activism (related to our non-profit LUNCH, Local United Network to Combat Hunger)
• Gaia Luna - the garden that's more than a garden

Then there are the dots that are just splashes of me, that don't necessarily fit in anywhere.

Constellations, all, clusters of light in the sky over my head, for navigation, telling of meaning and stories, connected through imagination, through action. Right now, though, mostly just dots, disjointed fragments of accomplishment and infrastructure.

How about this? DOTs: Disjointed Organizational Tools

Sounds so corporate.

Sometimes, if I let myself become distracted by a troublesome person, I find I've connected with dots that don't belong to me.

In the past I would let these things hang in isolation in my mind, not allowing myself to see a pattern and it's impact on me. This takes it's toll. I'll never know how many hours, how many days I've lost with thoughtless words and actions reverberating in my head.

I've begun to see the ways I've allowed other people's dots to become part of my design. I've started to recognize where I've drawn lines connecting with their dots instead of my own.

Seeing this, I can choose when to use my eraser and make changes.

I hope I am better equipped to consciously choose to connect, or not, in the future.

My dots. Their dots.

My job in this life is to own my dots, to add some of my own choosing, to draw in the lines that transform dots into meaningful pictures, then use them to navigate toward my destination, whatever that turns out to be.

(c)2007 Kay Pere ~ Effusive Muse Publishing

Rose Rescue

Sometimes a new beginning arrives disguised as a dramatic letdown. I've learned that bouncing back is essential to sustaining a creative life.

I found myself drooping today, like the dozen, wilted, long-stemmed red roses in a tall vase on my kitchen counter, standing with their heads bowed. These roses were a gift, received last Friday as reminder of love, constant through failure and success alike. Sad, beautiful, comforting roses.

Not quite ready to part with them, I trimmed them from their stems, nestled the unfolding flowers in a shallow bowl of water.

Disappointment, too, can be transformed.

By trimming the useful and beautiful bits of an experience from those that are not, I can nestle them safely within, until the time is right to move on.

©2006 Effusive Muse Publishing

Quantum Leap!

Tonight, I started editing a song we recorded about a week ago up at Ascension Studios.

I'm learning to use MOTU Digital Performing. I spent 3 hours in one sitting, editing the vocals and trimming other tracks while learning, experimenting with the mix. Still much to do.

It's been a goal of mine for a long time to learn this. Knowing how to use this program puts the power in my own hands to create the balance of sounds I imagine. Very exciting!

I feel the way opening before me.

Copier Counterpoint

Tonight, I'm engaged the repetitive, administrative side of being a creative person.

Tonight, I'm my own administrative assistant. Nothing glamorous about it. Just plain old mindless work. I'm printing, copying and collating handouts for a workshop I'll be teaching at a conference in a few days.

I staple together sets of worksheets. The printer and copier chug away in the background. I count aloud, lifting sheets from their piles, "one-two-three" K-CHUNK (that's the stapler), "one-two-three" K-CHUNK in counterpoint to the poly-rhythm of the office machines.

One runs out of ink. Another has a paper jam. We are musicians in rehearsal. I am their conductor. I stop to fix a problem, then we pick up where we left off.

This is the work of creating. Though it doesn't feel creative, the machines and I are bringing something new into being -- the means to communicate ideas beyond the confines of this small room.

©2006 Kay Pere - Effusive Muse Publishing