LYRICS: Your Great Design (An Artist's Prayer)

Came back to revising and refining this song tonight, first begun in '08. These things sometimes take time to find a clearer direction. Or maybe it's the writer who first has to find a clearer direction.

Your Great Design

(An Artist's Prayer)

words and music by Kay Pere

My heart is a parchment. My hand holds a quill

I dip this pen, quiverin', afraid the ink might spill, ...the ink might spill.

I long to draw you to me, Great Mystery within.

Move my hands, move my heart, guide this pen, ...guide my pen.

Though I try to sketch the future, only Your hand turns the page.

You erase the stains and smudges of my past mistakes.

So I ask, please, grant the wisdom to know where to draw the line.

And provide a clearer vision of Your Great Design.

The pattern of Your stillness rests upon my open book.

A still life of Your Spirit shines wherever I might look, ...if I just look.

Great Artist, who arranged the stars and fashioned each small flower,

My hands and heart are Yours to move in the quiet of this hour, ...this quiet hour.

Though I try to sketch the future, only Your hand turns the page.

You erase the stains and smudges of my past mistakes.

So I ask, please, grant the wisdom to know where to draw the line.

And provide a clearer vision of Your Great Design.

Only You can grant the wisdom to know where to draw the line.

Only You provide a vision of Your Great Design.

©2010 Kay Pere ~ Effusive Muse Publishing

SONGWRITING: Awakened by the Muse

I was awakened by the Muse at 5:00 this morning (after getting to sleep past midnight last night.)

Grabbed bedside pencil and paper, diligently wrote down the stanzas in my head. But the Muse insisted I get up and go to the piano.

Now I'm online researching Greek mythology for lyric content at her request.

Ignore her and she goes away to pout. Don't want that.

UPDATE: 20090615

This was one of those rare songs that essentially wrote itself. Two double verses plus a chorus (AAB AAB form), multiple layers of meaning, literary references, chords and melody, all came together within a very short time.

As soon as I'm able to play this song fluently enough, I'll post a rough recording and put up the lyrics.

I want to shorten the distance between song creation and proliferation, not worrying so much about having "radio ready" recordings before letting songs leave the nest for the first time. Trying to short circuit perfectionism and keep it real. I want to open a window into the process as it happens.

Heed the the Muse!

PREPARATION: Clearing Clutter

Clearing away clutter provides the physical and mental space to spark the next creative explosion.

New Rule: The Ordinary Rules

Haven't posted here for a very long time.

Most of my useful computer time for the past month or so has been focused on getting my recording studio rearranged, up and functional again, then getting work done for a very patient client.

Or I've been distracting myself from the frustration of the studio rearrange by endlessly checking email or Facebook, or reading news online, or reading other peoples blogs, or indulging in random websurfing.

For some reason I'd gotten all self-conscious about always needing to say something here that would be super meaningful, which sort of misses the point of living the Quiet Little Life--that meaning is found in the ordinary.

So I'm back, to resume writing about the ordinary stuff of daily life.

And I resolve to post here even if it feels vacuous to do so.

I hereby give myself permission to be banal, insipid, stilted, awkward, or . . . whatever else it is I'm afraid of being.

I absolve myself of guilt if I write but don't include illustrating photographs. Similarly, I intend to remain guilt free when photos appear without annotation.

Whose blog is this anyway?

Who made up all these rules about how it's supposed to be done?

Oops. I did. Or at least I bought into them.

I'm an artist, darn it! I live the creative life, right? Why can't I uncreate rules--especially the ones saying that things always have to be fancy-pants, intensely interesting or . . . (gasp) creative?

Today, I rip away the ratty old cardboard rule-box, step beyond its stale confines, and begin again.

New Rule: The Ordinary Rules.

INTENTION: Mid-Winter Stirrings

The snow is falling outside today.

Inside I've taking steps to plant the things I'd like to see begin to grow this Spring. Nothing particularly exciting, really. Like the first unseen stirrings of seeds and sap beneath the frozen earth, the actions I've taken are mundane though crucial to what I hope will follow.

Yesterday, I installed Adobe Photoshop 7.0 on my iMac--my primary computer now--and began doing graphics work there instead of on my old Mac laptop.

The addition of a title image (header) at the top of this blog is one result. The other is a similar new header on my Sound Krayons Music blog.

[In the past, I've only had an early version of Photoshop installed on my old Mac laptop. It was cumbersome to edit images there then move them over to the new Mac for use on the web and in documents. This upgrade opens up new creative and business possibilities, things I've been hoping to do for a long time. The old Mac is too old to connect easily with the internet.]

Then today, I successfully transferred a song file for the first time from MOTU Performer on my old Mac to Digital Performer (DP) on my iMac.

[Again, I'd done all my MIDI work in the past on the old Mac without the benefit of digital audio available in DP. After some trial and error, I was able to move the files from the old Mac by doing a "Save As" MIDI to a flash drive first, then opening in DP on the iMac and doing a "Save As" a DP file to the desktop did the trick.]

Blah, blah, blah technical stuff...

Like the big bale of seed starting mix I bought yesterday and hauled from the car to barn this morning, now I'll need to move all my old graphics and Performer files from one computer to another before I can use them in this new environment.

This sort of thing--to my mind--is the dry, lifeless part of the creative process.

I get discouraged because this part of the process seems to come so slowly. I thought to myself, yesterday, as I scooped buckets of compressed potting soil from the bale and dumped them into an empty trash can:

Are this year's flower and vegetable seeds planted and growing yet? No.

Are the recycled pots from last year cleaned and ready to set in the sunny spot? No.

Do I have everything I need to get things going? No.

But today I have made one very small dent in a very long process.

One small bucketful at a time. Peat moss fibers flying in the air landing on my skin, smelling fresh earth for the first time since last fall. These are the tangible promises of things to come.

No guarantee that weather or pests or health will cooperate in the months ahead, but on this one day for this short time I've done my part.

Similarly, there is no guarantee that I'll reach my distant creative goals, but on this one day for this short time I've done my part.

With these small, unglamorous efforts--work on my computers solving one small problem at a time, repetitive work to prepare for planting--the things I visualize creating and sharing will have some chance to flourish.

One small bucketful at a time.

(c)2009 Kay Pere ~ Effusive Muse Publishing

Sharpie Luggage

2 hours to wait in an airport + 1 silver sharpie marker + 1 cheap carry on bag = TADA! Art on Wheels

Would have done more but the sharpie was already mostly used up and ran out of ink. Will pack a fresh one for next time.

As it was, I so focused on what I was doing that I nearly missed the boarding call for my plane.

While I worked (played), the public address system intoned repeatedly:

"Attention airline passengers. Increased security measures require that all passengers maintain close personal contact with their items at all times. Unattended items will be promptly removed by law enforcement personnel. Additionally, report all suspicious items or activities immediately to airport personnel. Your safety is our priority."

Close personal contact with my items? Hmmm.

Though I certainly was attentive to my carry-on bag, did this qualify as a suspicious activity?

Got some funny looks as I sat on the floor scribbling on my bag, but no one reported me.

(c)2009 Kay Pere ~ Effusive Muse Publishing

Turntable Turns the Tables on Time

I've just returned from a trip to California for a family visit and work on a special project.

I dug into the stacks of old 45s, 78s and LPs we listened to as kids.

Took my ION portable USB turntable and converted childhood memories into digital audio files (wav and m4a), complete with all the nostalgic crackle, pop and hiss. We played those records by the hour, way back when.

The turntable is durable and lightweight, fit easily into my carry-on bag, raised no eyebrows passing through airport security, and was easy to set-up when I arrived.

When I got back, I found an amazing website that has dozens of Kiddie Records and their associated artwork (jackets, books, etc.) from the mid 1940's through early 1950's available for free download.

[I should make it clear that I wasn't around to hear these records when they were new. They belonged first to my older brothers, my parents and grandparents--already scratched and well loved by the time I came along.]

What does all this have to do with the creative process or living a more contented life?

It's all about reclaiming the vividness of happy childhood memories.

Creative art making is dependent upon the ability to tap into childlike playfulness and curiosity at will. What better way to access this mindset than to revisit joyful times from ones distant personal past?

For me, the pull of these old recordings was irresistible. As I played them I found myself wearing an unsuppressible smile. I finally had to get up and gave in to the urge to dance around.

For me, living a contented life is all about enjoying what is. Happy memories from my childhood are things that will always be mine to enjoy. They cost nothing and offer a guaranteed high.

They also have the added benefit of helping to free my creative work in the present.

When I revisit the things I enjoyed as a 5-year-old it becomes impossible for me to take myself or anything else too seriously. This sort of time travel enables me to approach my art with the spontaneity and fearlessness I felt back then. I can transport those feelings into the here-an-now on the scratchy strains from an old 45.

Now if you'll, please, excuse me. I'm going to go listen again to my favorite well-worn recording of "I'm a Little Teapot," then the "Hukilau" song, followed Guy Lombardo and his Royal Canadians playing "Stumbling" (link to an original piano roll MIDI file).

(c)2009 Kay Pere ~ Effusive Muse Publishing

2009 Intentions

Things that are calling to me for 2009, in no particular order:

• learn to bake bagels
• record the next CD
• finish the garden fence and arbor
• plant lots of flowers and veggies, and enjoy them
• get a first draft of the writing project done
• be healthy
• bake lots of bread and desserts (not mutually exclusive with the previous item)
• have adventures
• sit and do nothing more
• sing and play
• make stuff
• read
• listen
• digest
• live in gratitude
• love and do good where I can
• love and let go where I can't
• breath

More:

• continue to reduce my ecological footprint through ECO ACTIONS

ECO ACTION: Disconnecting / Reconnecting

The photo I took earlier today of the cables under the desk in my studio, shows that there's a lot left to do to finish "disassembling all the recording and audio equipment."

With an eye toward conservation, I've decided to rearrange all the electrical connections in the studio, too.

The goal is to eliminate the unnecessary consumption of electricity used in standby mode when the computers, printers, and music gear are off. (AKA all those little glowing power lights that make the studio look like Christmas even after I've turned everything off and flipped the light switch at the end of the day.)

The solution is to put segments of the studio on separate power strips with ON/OFF switches, to be turned on only when needed.

• one power strip for the studio equipment I use for teaching and my own practicing/songwriting activities
• one power strip for the computer and frequently used peripherals
• one power strip for my recording equipment
• one power strip--that stays on all the time--for my studio phone/answering machine and cellphone charger

That ought to do it.

I can't stop using electricity and still record my music, but I can reduce what I consume. This is one step toward making my music studio/office more eco-friendly.

Time Between Years

Each year for the past several I've taken the week between Christmas and New Years to dive into the process of cleaning and reorganizing my studio, and other parts of the house, with an eye toward what I envision accomplishing in the coming year.

It's always a time of reflection, a shifting of energy from past ways of being and doing toward ways that are a better fit for where the new year finds me and where I hope it will take me.

This is one of the few times of year when I don't have music students coming and going on a daily basis, or weekly rehearsals in our home with the 20 or more kids in our ensemble. I'm able to shift my focus from helping others define and achieve their goals toward looking at and working toward my own, without distractions.

It's always a relaxed, playful and intense time.

Here are some of the results from previous years:

Little New Year's Things - JAN 2006

Time Between Years - DEC 2006

Don't know what I did between Christmas and New Years last year at this time (12/07-1/08). Maybe I'll dig back and see if I can figure that out.

This past year has been a bit of a bumpy ride, with the bumpy bits that I hope will not repeat in the year ahead, or any other for that matter. 4 months of less than optimal health, plus another encounter with the darker side of the human condition, are things to be left in the past, if at all possible.

We don't always get to choose what happens to us, but we can choose to continue making plans and working to make them real. I'm actively choosing to move forward into the coming year, making my plans based on the likely assumption that these difficult things won't repeat in 2009.

And even if they do, or some other challenges come along, well ... here I am anyway. And here are the ones I love and the life we have together.

Here's to making life simpler.

Here's to enjoying what is.

Started last night disassembling all the recording and audio equipment in my studio, to be simplified and rearranged.

I've removed the things I no longer use (maybe never used) and the things that have worn out or broken from frequent use (an old amplifier, a CD changer/player and a cassette tape deck), and have begun to arrange the few things needed for my new set up in a way that will make for easier work flow. And maybe some actual recordings.

Between each thing that gets moved or removed there's pausing, looking, thinking, wiping up dust and grime, imagining whether this is the best way.

It's hard work to rearrange.

I'm trying to keep in mind that "good enough" and done is far better than the perpetual struggle for an ideal "best" that's forever incomplete. (Same goes for the editing/re-editing of this blog post.)

Now, back to it.

Powering down. Disconnecting.

Reconnecting in a new way. Powering back up again.

QUOTES: "Miracles" from "Leaves of Grass"

WHAT shall I give? and which are my miracles?

Realism is mine—my miracles—Take freely,
Take without end—I offer them to you wherever your
feet can carry you, or your eyes reach.

Why! who makes much of a miracle?
As to me, I know of nothing else but miracles,
Whether I walk the streets of Manhattan,
Or dart my sight over the roofs of houses toward the
sky,
Or wade with naked feet along the beach, just in the
edge of the water,
Or stand under trees in the woods,
Or talk by day with any one I love—or sleep in the
bed at night with any one I love,
Or sit at the table at dinner with my mother,
Or look at strangers opposite me riding in the car,
Or watch honey-bees busy around the hive, of a sum-
mer forenoon,
Or animals feeding in the fields,
Or birds—or the wonderfulness of insects in the air,
Or the wonderfulness of the sun-down—or of stars
shining so quiet and bright,
Or the exquisite, delicate, thin curve of the new-moon
in spring;

To me, every hour of the light and dark is a miracle,
Every inch of space is a miracle,
Every square yard of the surface of the earth is spread
with the same,
Every cubic foot of the interior swarms with the same;
Every spear of grass—the frames, limbs, organs, of
men and women, and all that concerns them,
All these to me are unspeakably perfect miracles.

~ Walt Whitman, from Leaves of Grass, 1867 edition

[excerpted, read the poem in its entirety HERE]

VIDEO: Me Singing "Time at the Table"

"Time at the Table"
Words and Music by Kay Pere and Bill Pere

Performed at the Shubert Theatre in New Haven, CT

Kay Pere with Bill Pere and the LUNCH Ensemble

Check back soon for lyrics.

:-), Kay

STUDIO WINDOW: other things to think about #1

Because life is not all gloom and doom, not all health concerns and financial contraction. ..

I'm going to make an effort to post quick snippets about happy everyday things, as an antidote.

#1 OUTSIDE MY STUDIO WINDOW

There is a dogwood tree right outside my studio window who keeps me company as the seasons change. In the past few weeks it has lost all its vermilion leaves. A fine filigree of branches remains, outlined against the sky.

All day squirrels use its branches as a highway from one tree to the next. Fat grey clowns in flannel suits, they carrying nuts too big for their mouths to hold, performing acrobatic feats as they hurrying past on their way to some secret cache.

Occasionally one will catch sight of me watching through the window and freeze in place, as if hoping to become instantly invisible. This is usually followed by loud, menacing chirping sounds and wild waving of a long fluffy tail. The cat may be intimidated by such antics--I just smile.

My studio window faces west, with my computer monitor on a desk in front of it. This morning, over the top if my screen, I watched the last quarter moon on her way toward the horizon. This evening, if I'm lucky, I'll catch sight of a brilliant sunset sky behind the silhouette of my companion dogwood tree's branches.

These are my simple joys today.

:-), Kay

QUOTES: Done with Great Things

"I am done with great things and big things, great institutions and big success, and I am for those tiny invisible molecular moral forces that work from individual to individual, creeping through the crannies of the world like so many rootlets, or like the capillary oozing of water, yet which if you give them time, will rend the hardest monuments of man's pride."

~ William James

BOOKS: Slow and Messy

Recent reading has included topics often pointed to as character flaws in our hurry-up and get organized culture--slowness and messiness.

While I'm sometimes criticized for moving too slowly and being habitually untidy, I find these characteristics to be essential for my creativity and enjoyment of life.

I need time to think and an abundance of materials around me in order to do any original work. Without the freedom to savor life at an unhurried pace the joy goes out of it. I'm willing to live frugally with both time and money, foregoing things like TV and many consumer goods, to maintain the balance that suits me.

Apparently there are many others who feel the same way. "In Praise of Slowness: Challenging the Cult of Speed" by Carl Honore explores the Slow Movement as expressed through the food we eat, the ways we choose work and live, and the ways we relate to one another.

I highly recommend it.

I've just begun to read "A Perfect Mess: The Hidden Benefits of Disorder," by Eric Abrahamson and David H. Freedman.

Already I'm feeling better about the messy though functional piles that surround me here in my studio.

This book asserts that the hidden costs of organization can, in many circumstances, out weigh the benefits. It challenges the culturally held assumption that messiness is always detrimental to productivity, offering examples and research in support of the opposite view.

Three chapters into this book, I'm excited to see where it is going. I've begun to breath easier after releasing a huge load of guilt over my perpetually untidy surroundings.

Even my reading habits don't flow in an orderly manner. I'm not a one-book-at-a-time kind of reader. I wouldn't want it any other way

At any given moment I'm in the midst of reading dozens of books, fiction and nonfiction, on a wide range of topics, spanning various historical periods. Ideas bump up against each other in the slow turning of pages. They linger together and form new relationships.

Given the choice, I'll let the value of original thought and enjoyment of simple pleasures trump swift and orderly completion, every time.

BTW - On the frugal front, I unsuccessfully attempted to find these books through the public library before resorting to used copies through Amazon.com. Ownership does allow the luxury of making marks and taking my time.

Cape May Singer Songwriters Conference

We landed in beautiful Cape May NJ this weekend, for the Cape May Singer Songwriter Conference where B and I taught workshops, performed, and met a lot of wonderful people dedicated to writing and performing their songs.

Though this photo looks like a UFO beamed us down on the NJ beach, we actually arrived by car.

The conference was held at Congress Hall, a beautiful old resort right on the shore, built in 1816.

More to come about this wonderful weekend and the people we met there.

RECORDING: Secretive Computer Cajoled

Progress.

MIDI setup is working with my iMac through MOTU Digital Performer

MOTU 828 digital audio interface drivers are installed and signal is visible in Garage Band, though not audible even though all the settings are correct. Not sure why.

Next step will be a focused effort on getting digital audio I/O between 828 and Digital Performer.

MOTU has great phone tech support!

They have completely avoided using the phone purgatory systems most companies employ. No dealing with automated menus saying, "For blah-blah-blah press 1, for yada-yada press 2, for bippity-boppity press 8." You just dial a phone number given in the front of the users' manual and an actual, knowledgeable person, who speaks English even, picks up the line to answer your questions.

That's the way customer service should always be.

RECORDING: Secretive Computers

Today I did battle with technology. It won.

Today my computers refused to play nice and make things easy.

Today they kept secrets and snickered behind their shiny screens.

Today I tried a lot of things that didn't work.

Today ended with more questions than answers.

Today I learned a few of the right questions to ask.

That was my one success.

Tomorrow I will ask again and learn a little more.

In plain English: Today I attempted for the first time, unsuccessfully, to get my Mac Mini to send and receive digital audio with the MOTU 828 interface. I spent about 5 hours in failed attempts, while digging through my studio for a missing software disc.

Tomorrow I start again.

SONGWRITING: Binder & Web Work

Today was a day spent working on the administrative side of my creative projects. As a result, I was able to check a couple of longstanding items off my TO-DO list.

I finished printing out lyric/chord sheets for all my songs and put them into a binder organized with tabs by CD project (several underway currently). It felt good to see them all in one place for the first time. I think this will help to focus effort for the next stage--recording.

The tabs are made out of manilla file folders cut along one of the ridges that allows the folder to expand, then three-hole-punched. I do this for flexibility and to save money on office supplies.

The chord sheet shown is for my song "Livin' in the Present", a birthday celebration song for people who've already put more than a few decades worth of birthdays behind them. The chorus starts: "You're livin' in the present and it's a gift, a gift to be opened." Doing my best to practice what I preach. :-)

I also did some editing on my website, finally fixing one tiny little embarassing spelling error that had been there since the site was designed. Much more to do there, but it's not all going to happen in one day.

Our internet connection has gone through a major improvement today with the arrival and installation of a new, more powerful modem. [Thank you, B!] With any luck, web work won't be as much of a hit-or-miss activity as it has been. Nothing like having the wireless internet connection drop right in the middle of a complicated editing or uploading session. I'm hopeful that this is a thing of the past.

Now, I'm off to get my hands dirty working on pottery. Need to shift my focus away from technology for the rest of the evening. And there's nothing more low-tech than a fist full of mud!

Music for Cleaning the Studio

I've spent all day cleaning my studio.

Well, not actually cleaning. That would involve a broom and dustpan, a bucket of warm water and damp rag. Haven't quite gotten to that point yet.

Mostly I've just been putting music books and sheet music back where they go on shelves, making piles into files. At the same time, the copier has been working hard cranking out the "Daily Practice Record" sheets that go in my students binders. The printer has been cranking out another run of my color business cards. Needed to restock on both of these essential items.

In the background, I've been listening to a couple of favorite folk CDs:
Tim Harrison's "Wheatfield With Crows"
Full Frontal Folk's "Storming the Castle"

The Full Frontal Folk CD has a track, "Another Train", done with such beautiful 4-part harmony that I found myself hitting the repeat button on my CD player another 6-7 times, singing along at the top of my voice.

I did a search on the title and writer's name, and located the original "Another Train" by Peter Morton, complete with lyrics and MP3.

This is one of those majorly uplifting songs. Definitely going to go on my own song wishlist of songs I want to learn--words, chords, all of it.

Between picking up in the studio and listening to music, I've done some other web surfing.

In the most recent eNewsletter from some talented musical friends, Mad Agnes, Margo gave a link to the blog of a friend of hers, Lisa Nash, who's been traveling in India and reflecting on living a deeper, more spiritual and intentional life.

Listening to these tunes and reading these thoughtful words has brought a sense of sacredness and centered calm to a very ordinary day.

Just thought I'd share these here and maybe pass on a little of that peacefulness.